Monthly Archives: August 2014

Rained In

Rained in
Reigned in
Since yesterday
But we’ve plenty of distractions
under a dozen sloping roofs.
Not exactly dry.
A dozen showers.
No imagination
Required.

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Filed under poem, poetry, writing

A princess turned pilot turned pop star

It’s about time I shared something by one of my favorite poets.

verseherder

She’s
a pilot
with burnt
postcards
of far-off
sunsets
for clothes,
bathed
in space
cadet blue.

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August 31, 14 · 7:06 PM

Sunken Ships

There are plenty of ships
At the bottom of the sea.
With the two of us afloat
Speculating their mystery.
Diving rusting dark memories
Without wetting our feet.
There’s never been another
To accomplish such a feat.
This lonely drowning sinker
Hasn’t welcomed company
and it’s been so dark
I’d lost the light to see
Anyone who dares defy
The reflections in the waves. . .
Someone depraved.
Someone like me.

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A Quickie

 

If you haven’t heard of The Stone Roses, it’s about time you did. 

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Eternally Safe

Beauty Raining Inside Listless Endless Youth,
    I’ve lived on veering ends your overwhelming unions. I find every evening like you. Our unbound rhythms lie in great heights. The inky night escapes cause. Sighing together, a song you EXPress like our silent impressions. Obstructively near. Set apart my infinite life. Lonely in onerous news going over death + destruction. Except saying something else should overwhelm negative minds. You KNow every ecstasy she flung on rhyme. My obvious return echo dissolves. Always you. Like islands. Gifted Heated Twisted. So undone, needing sun. Help I’d never expected. Knowing I shall stay eternally safe.

 

–June Tirade

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Filed under letter, love, writing

Words in a Row

Spent most of the afternoon on the lake with Briley and her family yesterday evening. Sunburned as a fucking lizard. I think all the humidity in the region must be magnifying the sun. Someone please come lower me another basket of lotion down this well. 

Her parents are actually pretty laid back. (I think they went through three bottles of wine between them) They retired from the air force and moved down from Chicago about ten years ago. Briley is staying with them at least through college. Right now she’s three months from getting her RN degree. She’s got her own apartment in the finished basement, with a great view of the lake. If I were her I’d be in no hurry to leave yet. 

As usual, I’m up relatively early and my hosts are still sleeping. A little bored. Just made some coffee and thought I’d start typing. No real subject. No real point. Sitting here with Briley’s german shepherd named C.C.–short for chicken choker. Long story.

I guess she’s told her parents I’m schizophrenic. That’s good. I fucking hate meeting new people. My psychotic eps are pretty much under control for the time being, for the most part. . .but that doesn’t mean I’m completely normal. I still trail off during conversations, I still have the occasional trouble understanding words as they’re spoken to me. Sometimes I have to yell at the voices in my head to shut them up. Sometimes my eyes start darting around like a madman and I’ll begin to rave about sea monsters and forest fires. Constants for me. 
(Briley, you are a brave girl. Or perhaps a little foolish. Thank you for being so patient and loving with me.) 

One thing I’m sure of, the meds don’t stave off psychosis forever. Now I can’t seem to stop worrying about what might happen, or how much I may manage to embarrass myself, or scare someone, or just disappear. Briley has promised that she’ll stay by my side and that means everything. But she’s never seen me like I’ve seen me. I would have fled myself years ago. 

Well, on a positive note, there’s an eagle’s nest less than half a mile from here. They have chicks and all. We’re gonna go check that shit out later today. Gonna wear my red hardhat. 

–JT

 

 

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Filed under love, mad ruminations, schizophrenia, writing

Two Old Men (AKA Still have nothing Worth Saying)

Two old men
Have more to say
Than meets the eyes
Over large french fries.

But I think
the television
is too too loud and
I can see their hearing aids
smoking from here.

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Eternity

Well, look at me. One of my poems actually published earlier today. Therefore I remove it from here. which means I have to fill this empty space. Or feel it, whatever. Think I've failed for lack of anything else worth saying.

Staying at Briley’s for the weekend. She’s on call though as per the usual. It’s not a full moon is it? That’s reassuring. I’m not sure who I’m having a conversation with right now. How does that make you feel? Not good doc. Not good at all.

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Filed under time, writing

Eternity

I've seen an eternity
and all I could find
was a moment.
Because eternity
Doesn't stretch from                            side             to              side.
It rises
V
E
R
T
I
C
A
L
L
Y
                 into infinity.
And all I am in this moment
Is all a life can ever be.
A moment's worth of heaven
Lives unendlessly in me.

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Filed under poem, poetry, time, writing

Something Left for Later

Just a personal something.

What you mentioned yesterday doesn’t seem so absurd at moments like this. I know what you meant before you ever spoke it. Then again all the world feels absurd to me tonight. There’s a nice breeze, the crickets are chirping. The sun sleeps and so do you, but I don’t mind. You really ought to believe me. The hundreds of pages it might take to explain how little I mind. Something lighter this time most definitely. Where else could it all go? Of course, It doesn’t matter to me what worlds our story traverses. So long as ours it remains. I could write a million, but I’d rather let tonight, tomorrow, write itself. I’m not afraid, and you know I trust you. And I think you trust me too.

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Filed under letter, mad ruminations, writing