Here it Comes Again

Admit it, early Saturday mornings wouldn’t be the same without Johnny spamming your blog feed. 

Still getting along decently. Been out with Briley at a friend’s house for a while. It was cool when it was him and his roommate but when others started showing up, the place just got this heavy vibe. All the yellow light suddenly seeming a lot brighter and the room had developed a dense fog. Not entirely visible but there. 
I was the one who had to put an end to our night as calmly as I could. Briley was cool with it. She’s always cool with it. At least, when I tell her what’s actually going on. I’m getting better about that. It’s easy to purge on paper or online. An indirect projectile vomiting. Harder to tell someone to their face when ridiculous thoughts have you on edge. Especially someone I would really love to keep in my life. 
Feel like an ass for not trusting her the other day. Self-imposed assery. I have a habit of doing illogical things and then beating myself up for it. Briley says I do it with a baseball bat (ideologically). That’s where my sudden amusement with the bats has come in. They’re a baseball team. Real live man-size bats. . .you know, the winged mammal. Their jerseys have a picture of a cartoon bat on them. Ridiculous. 



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Filed under boredom, mad ruminations, music, schizophrenia, stupid, things

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