The Hopeless Still Live

My little trip is over. I got home late last night. Got a little spooked. I may have witnessed a death, but I’m not sure.
I was driving down a busy four lane road complete with center turn lane. I needed to turn left. I put on my blinker, I got over, and saw a little dude crossing the street in front of me. I slowed down and let him pass, but he was in too big a hurry to get out of my way. He must not have seen the truck barreling down on him in the next lane. Next thing I know I hear tires screeching, and I look over to see this guy’s body flying through the air before crashing into the pavement in a lifeless flop. Somewhere a woman is screaming.
I made my turn to get out of the road and stopped to see if I could help, but there was already a crowd gathered and no one paid any attention to me. I stuck around long enough to see the police, ambulance and fire station arrive. They hauled the little guy off (he was a little person) still lifeless. Next, they started putting police tape up around the entire scene of the accident. That was when I decided to leave.

I try not to follow omens, but this just left me feeling wrong inside. Suddenly the whole city went sour. I can’t help but wonder, if I hadn’t been there, turning at that exact time, would he have made it across the street safely? The simple answer is yes. He couldn’t see the truck past my car. Sure, he could have been more careful, and I could have been at home in bed instead of turning on a street a hundred miles from anything familiar, on someone else’s street, in someone else’s town. And if it was fate, that would mean I sealed his the moment I set out on this little journey.
I don’t know. All I do know is that I’m home. Not particularly happy to be, but I haven’t been happy about anything in what seems like a long while. I am still at a loss. I can’t stop stumbling every time I get the slightest bit ahead. What to do?



Leave a comment

Filed under mad ruminations

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s