Threesome

Well, yesterday was the big day. I finally saw the psychiatrist. He was a very round man, with a short white beard, wearing a dress shirt and suspenders. The suspenders only accentuated his largeness by drawing an arc around his basketball shaped form. All in all I suppose he was alright. He talked about his family a lot. I just listened and nodded and waited for him to get on with it. He did listen to what I had to say. We settled on doubling my effexor and risperdal doses, and changing from trazodone over to amitriptyline, which is supposed to prevent migraines rather than cause them. Of course trazodone is supposed to do the same thing, but it’s been the opposite in my case. Want to know my number one migraine trigger? Cinnamon. It doesn’t take a lot of it. It seems I’ve digressed.
I’m picking up my new scripts today and really trying to maintain hope.

I’ve decided to skimp on sleep for a few days. Over the last week and a half I’ve slept nine plus hours consistently. It obviously hasn’t been good for my mood or my symptoms. I’m hoping it will boost my mood to a manageable level rather than cause absolute mania. We will see. I only know that anything’s better than the way I’ve been feeling, and something simply has to change or I really am going to lose it. I’m only 17% kidding, which means it’s pretty serious.
I managed to stay up til sunrise this morning. I took an early morning walk in the woods. It was great. I need to make these ventures a daily habit, weather permitting. It’s very refreshing out there in the not-so-deep wilderness. The forest is a place where my mind can just take a break from it all. Rudie and I like to pretend we’re wild. He’s better at it than I am.
After my walk I got an hour long nap and woke up not long ago. It’s almost like a spring day outside, which makes me a little nostalgic as it invigorates me. It’s a rather complex feeling.

I don’t suppose I have any bad news today. Does that make for a dull post?

–Sleepless

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