Life for me has been a rollercoaster ride these past couple of weeks. I spent a few days struggling with hallucinations and suicidal thoughts. This week has been a lot better, but today isn’t as great. I feel I might be slipping again. I see it coming and sadly there is nothing I can do.
I made a friend here on WordPress after I got out of the hospital. I’ve been talking to her a lot about my past, my present, and what goes on in my head. I’ve been learning about her too. She is really an amazing person. She’s from the Northwest but just happened to be visiting relatives here in Kentucky this week. I drove to meet her and we spent the day together in the park, just talking. We had pizza and concluded our night laying in the grass watching planes fly overhead. It was truly a good day. We’re only friends and can’t be anything more. She lives so far away. Still, I feel close to her. We talk almost every day. Suffice it to say she has saved my life already. Having her around is a good thing.
Although Michelle broke up with me a couple weeks ago, she still keeps coming round. She seems to think she can just see me when she feels like it and ignore me the rest of the time. I tolerated it for a short while but I think it’s gone far enough. It’s me who’s going to have to break up with her now. I’ve been putting it off. I guess I’m waiting until she contacts me again. Maybe it will be never and I won’t have to deal with it. It’s tempting to be her bitch and let her keep playing this game so I don’t have to be alone. I’m trying to maintain some sort of self-respect. A monumental task.
Not much else to talk about. I’ve been trying to spend more time in the woods, but it’s been cold again. Better luck next week.