Monthly Archives: May 2016

Worthless

I have stripped myself
Of every bare defence.
Every lie,
Every meaning I denied.
I’m nothing now.
Worthless.
Feeling comfort in my skin.
For nothing I will die
As nothing I begin.

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Filed under poem, poetry

Creating rabid yearning shouldn’t take a lot.

Long legs
Long cleavage,
In my loneliness so beautiful
And so I told her
In so many words.
Was it desire or pity
When an invite was proposed?
I may never know.
No need for booze, no need for weed,
But her sunshine smile drew me in.
We fucked like mad and for a moment
I forgot who I was, where I was,
How I was.
And so we did it all over again.
And it was then that I knew
I despised myself,
And so I left, walked out,
Sped away.
Dearest Crystal,
Stay beautiful,
But my odor should have been enough.
best to avoid the losers
And psychos
Like me.

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Sorry old lies owe penance straight into sunlight’s madness.

Dead
Like a stone
My screams are whispers
And my heart is alone.
(No choice but to cry.)
A life of abuse
Becomes my truth
And stole my humanity
Within this cage I’ll never
Escape.

There’s no rest for the mind that’s been shattered.
There’s no retrieving the pieces that scattered.
As if the thought of it even mattered.

There’s no light from the deep
There’s a maze of darkness in me
And solipsism’s all I believe.

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A sonnet one never grieved

There is no other way
To return where I came
On the highway.
These miles are my disgrace
And I can’t show my face
For my heartache.

This is my last escape
My final escapade
To cover all my tracks
There’s nothing for me there
Or here, or anywhere,

For when I prayed I cried out all my tears
But there’s no remedy for the years
What I am made is only just my fears.
Still somewhere i hope
A few more miles and I’ll be free
From this disease.

But there’s no
Sweet release
Til I let it go.

My heart must postpone it,
Those moments,
That shatter my only hopes
And leave me all alone.
There is just one way soar
And I’ll never learn
When my angel wings are burned.

And when I finally feel free
The world falls out from under me.
I pretend there’s nothing that I need
To deny the sprout of any seed.
I think I’m in hell.
Just a few more miles before
I’m aware
My end is near.

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DESOLATE

Dearest to love and
Etched in stone,
Such a damning word
Of what ive become.
Let the shadows sway my way, let
All of darkness know my name.
Trying is a useless act
Except when god has got your back.

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Filed under acrostic, poem, poetry

Light only stays tonight

As my world must surely pass away
I feel alone.
Tomorrow will be yesterday
Before it’s truly known.
As I meet you
So I’ve lost you
To memory, memory.
Nothing more
Than lonely tears
Through which I barely feign to see.
If I can learn
To mourn myself
Then how much more
For those I’ve held?

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Tossing heavy emetics. Let’s all wash.

Sherrf says: water under the bridge.
I say swim slim.
Evasion revelations
Somewhere between vomit and phlegm.

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Filed under poem, poetry

Such a noble imitation takes years.

As the past was once
And never becomes,
Let my road be straight.
Let me spill my blood
Upon heavens gate.
Let my heart lose its beat
For all that is lost or cold
Or empty.
If the clock and my eyes
Tell the truth all at once,
Then the sun’s coming up.
But not for me
With my mind nightingly
In this old blue truck
Too tired to carry me.
Not in Kansas anymore.
Rivers red landslide.
I change my mind.
And I open the door.

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Filed under poem, poetry

Squares and circles

Square houses and square beds,
Corners a hindrance to karma’s flow,
We try to escape the coming blow,
But we are delaying the enevitable 
Just long enough to enjoy this day,
,

When tomorrow comes
The pillars will bleed
And the house we built
Will be razed to dust,
All we had and all we knew
Strewn in the dirt
Like winter twigs.
So much garbage, 
That’s all it is.
Bury me in drywall 
And the kitchen sink.
I’ll beat karma to the punch
Middle finger held high

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Filed under poetry, police

Quarter Inch Closed

DSCN0486

For a close-up

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May 22, 16 · 12:12 PM