Monthly Archives: July 2016

The Levee has Broken

Do I allow myself to cry or

Am I slave to my tears?

I remember it’s been 

So many long years

Since I was numb.

Practically deaf blind and dumb

To the atrocities that buried me.

Oh what a wish for what I could be.

But I can’t.

Seems I’ve lost that skill

And now my heart

Won’t fit the bill 

anymore.

The slightest sadness

And I hit the floor.

I don’t want to feel.

I don’t want to be,

But the black hands of the world

Have hold of me.

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Cannot Stand It

A house divided against itself.

Love or fear;

Which will prevail?

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Sacrificial Love

A most ethereal

Creature of darkness

Unimaginable, 

Wandering dark, cold hallways

And emerging

To take advantage 

Of young girls

And their insecurities

Has found himself caught 

In a most insatiable trap.

Granting wishes

When stars align,

And for a million years

It’s been the same.

Until one day

Innocence wished

For his love

And he deteriorated 

To human form

To suffer the pain

Of existence scorned.

All for love.

All for love.

He is angry 

In this suffering.

To release omnipotence

For a human form.

He’ll suffer through,

And in the end

He’ll return.

Taking her with him

To wander dark hallways

No longer alone.

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Uncontrollable

Tears tear down barriers 

To escape

This wretched mind

And all its mistakes.

I ask my love,

Have you ever seen a man

Cry like this?

She says yes;

My late husband,

Before his self inflicted death.

Pain too great to comprehend.

I snap in the wind

When my branches can no longer bend.

Tell me this moment

Could be the end

To all the pain.

But it never is.

It stays the same,

Or gets worse all along.

And my inner heart screams

I’m doing everything wrong.

I just want to escape,

For the hour is too far

Too late

To recover any 

Meaningful thing.

Soul-sickness far beyond

Simple self-loathing.

I’m hurting you.

It’s killing me.

A handful of pills

And a drink

Relieves the pain

Immediately.

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Rise and Fall

Mornings turn to mourning 

When I open my eyes.

A moment’s all it takes

For me to realize 

where I am,

Where I’m going,

How things are.

All hope dies.

And all my day

Is an attempt to deny

The reality of things

Until I can at last

Say goodnight

To the broken man I am.

To my doomed life.

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Ashes

The wise tell a story

Of how things change.

I call bullshit.

My luck’s the same,

And will be forever.

What’s a thousand ages

Stacked up against

These sad song pages?

They hold nothing, 

But somehow too heavy

To ever take wing.

Still they billow up

At the slightest breeze 

As I lose hope

Like a tree loses leaves.

And so I watch them

Blow away.

I know they knew better

Than to ever stay.

They touch the sky

As they ignite, 

To declare the burning 

Of my will to fight.

Falling to the ground as ash.

So reads my future,

So cries my past.

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LettingĀ 

She came from her room

Where the doe eyes shone

A general mess

Dripping blood on the floor

On her heels and dress.

Someone left her alone.

“You must always look nice 

For a special occasion”

And for a time she sang this 

Just days before she thought best

To end her life.

butcher knife liaison

Demonstrating this.

Her purple heels smeared red blood

On the tiles speckled blue.

Before she nearly fell

In that chair for a while

And I held her together

As best as I could,

For what else could I do? 

But I didn’t know blood

Could flow like it would

For I was a child.

On that day they took

My mother away.

A once beautiful creature

 Turned rabid and wild.

Dragged from the foyer

Screaming my name.

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The Best Part of Waking Up

My triptych beauty,
my siren’s song.
I climb in your bed
when you are gone
and wake up to
your perfect face,
your curves abound
your warm embrace.
I want to live like this
for years,
despite my pain and
all my tears.
I stroke your hair
as you drift off.
My triptych beauty,
my siren’s song.

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Epistolary

Wait for me.
Please wait for me?
I don’t know where you’ve gone.
Although you’ve up and
Disappeared
You must be somewhere
All along?
Race for you.
I’m racing for you.
I feel it faster every day.
Your absence growing
Every year
But still you fit my words
Like clay.

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Fox paws

My glee-time glimmer

Has gone away.

How the fuck

Do I skip a single space 

With this Android app “upgrade?”

Water-boarded in shame.

Should I find the proper word

For what I’m trying to say

I’ll write them a letter

In heiroglyphic tombs

Because there’s plenty of space

In the empty line room.

As pointless as ever

As cliche as gloom.

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