Category Archives: phoenix

Phoenix

I know I haven’t written anything about my personal life in a while. I’m certain the lot of you don’t care, and I mean that in a nice way. Those little ‘life updates’ I write for myself, mainly. Not much has changed. Life is pretty fucking great for me. Lithium and I have become something like divine lovers; intertwined. It’s changed everything for me. Not only is my mood stable, but it’s settled in a happy place, and I’ve got my energy back as well. Getting shit done around the house, spending lots of quality time with Briley, not being an ass to my roommate anymore. I no longer feel defective. I’m actually considering getting a job, though I’m not sure what I’d enjoy doing. Certainly nothing in the food industry. It’s not more than a notion at the moment. I can get by on what money I have, although I can’t afford much more than the basics at the moment. Perhaps something will fall in my lap. Lots of great things have been popping up recently.

Briley and I have been discussing the topic of spirituality excessively. I really enjoy her ideas. I don’t believe in magic quite the same way she does, but I do believe in something. I’ve been lighting incense and candles daily on the little shrine she provided for me. I enjoy it. Even if it’s all a delusion, it gives me some sort of focus and trust in the world. That’s something I’ve been so devoid of for so long. I’m happy to have it.
I’m just happy. Not manic, not crazy, not overly deluded; just happy. Shit’s going well. So long as I can stay on this medication, which I must admit I cannot live without, I’ll be alright. I can handle anything that’s thrown at me. Hot potatoes, broken glass, flaming sticks, shot-puts, whatever. Nothing is as hot, sharp, or heavy as I made them out to be. Brain chemicals are the governors of our world and mine are nicely balanced. Finally.

I’ve risen from the fucking ashes. All the dross is burned away. Fuck yeah.

–Brain Chemicals

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Filed under bipolar, lithium, mad ruminations, phoenix, writing