Tag Archives: addiction

Addict

I sleep.

I dream.

I feel nothing.

Take my life

And shove it.

I don’t care.

Worries

Hover

Everywhere.

I turn up

The beat.

I’m incomplete.

My head pounds

And my hands

Shake.

My only joys

Are fantasy

Fakes.

I pop a pill.

The world

Gets still.

Self-awareness

Becomes

Alright

Though something

Within me

Always dies.

Why?

Nothing.

Nothing here.

God might

Save me

If he had ears

Or if I 

Could speak.

I’m incomplete.

Broken and torn

To the madness

I’m sworn.

I will

Endure.

For my will

Is stronger 

Than yours.

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Uncontrollable

Tears tear down barriers 

To escape

This wretched mind

And all its mistakes.

I ask my love,

Have you ever seen a man

Cry like this?

She says yes;

My late husband,

Before his self inflicted death.

Pain too great to comprehend.

I snap in the wind

When my branches can no longer bend.

Tell me this moment

Could be the end

To all the pain.

But it never is.

It stays the same,

Or gets worse all along.

And my inner heart screams

I’m doing everything wrong.

I just want to escape,

For the hour is too far

Too late

To recover any 

Meaningful thing.

Soul-sickness far beyond

Simple self-loathing.

I’m hurting you.

It’s killing me.

A handful of pills

And a drink

Relieves the pain

Immediately.

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Addiction

Soon oh so soon
This sadness will end.
And the prickly cold
That doth rise to my head
Only to break into sweat instead
Will subside.
Soon oh so soon
This dull ache will abate
From my feet to my head
As if the hour is late.
Soon very soon
I won’t be angry anymore.
The devil’s and demons
That knock at my door
Will sit down for a while,
We’ll palaver in style.
Just a tiny round green thing
And my whole world sings.
Really ten bucks and connections
is all it takes
To bring my world from nightmare
To wake.

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Some fact, some fiction, and yes, some truth.

The nurse can’t stand the sound of the screams
So she makes her way patiently to 601B.
A man mauled by wolves in tremendous pain
Although he babbles enough to be seen as insane.
Easy prey for a devil like her
As she speaks in tones of a concerned mother
Amid the false words and in just a short time
She injects his meds into her mainline.
She leaves him screaming as he was before.
Insists his reasons can’t be pain anymore.

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