Autobiographies

I spent a few bucks at Hobby Lobby yesterday. I have a weakness for blank pages and stationary.

I was taken by the tree on this journal’s cover. Well, it’s actually meant to be a sketchbook, having no lines and all. For some reason Hobby Lobby doesn’t sell legitimate journals for writing. Bastards!

It’s made of nice leather and high quality paper. I’ve decided it perfect for poetry. Too perfect, in fact. My drafts are much too scribble-laden and error ridden. Instead, I’m filling this one with all of my recent creations that only exist on my blog. Many deserve a home on paper, so I’ve been copying a bit from my WordPress site. Self-plagiary! The Collected Poems of a Madman, I’ll call it. Perhaps when it’s complete I can give it away.

Next, I bought this huge hunk of bludgeoning tool.  I selected it for its size, and the design on the cover. I like maps damnit.

I was tired of my life story just laying out on the table. Anyone could have strolled right into my home and riddled through my many problems. So, this one becomes a sort of autobiography.
I like you guys, so I’m happy to display its contents.

Get it?
Seriously though, it wasn’t smart to have all my medications laying out. Especially the Soma–which I’ve only needed a couple of nights. Think I’ll tell my doctor I don’t need it anymore. I do not enjoy taking narcotics. They do the trick though; knock me the fuck out.
I’ve never kept my medications in the bathroom. It’s a prime spot for pill heads to lock the door and take whatever they want. Instead they were kept piled up in a decorative bowl on the bar. I prefer this new storage method. I enjoy the irony. Hell, I enjoy irony, period.

–Ironic Bastard

Too Soon?

I told her “If you want to read
we could use some words that set the mood.”
“Okay” she said, “and anyway
tonight’s your night to choose.”

So I combed the shelves and selected a tome.
She lit a candle and bombarded the room.
“One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish.”
She laughed, room lightened, I did too.

 

(We did end up reading Dr. Seuss, though not for long).